I fucked Up

Even the best of us fuck up. Those of us who are in the work of anti-racism and social justice. Those of us who are queer and queer affirming. Those of us who aren’t just body positive, but fat positive. Me. I’m talking about me. I consider myself to be a liberal, open-minded, racial justice fighting, reproductive rights honoring, fat-affirming, queer- affirming person and doula. I feel like I do a good job of making EVERYONE feel welcome in my space.

And I fuck up.

This last weekend during my childbirth education class I realized that while I affirm and celebrate ALL pregnant people and their journeys, I am pretty marginalizing for people who are single or parenting alone. And the thing is, I’VE BEEN BOTH BIRTH AND POSTPARTUM DOULAS TO MANY PEOPLE WHO PARENT ALONE! And it was a blind spot. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.

I say this out loud not to shame myself or anyone, but to make an example of being able to say out loud to the world that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes. Many of us who are in this work are in it with good intentions. Those of us who come to the work with marginalized identities often feel like we’re good - we know what’s fucked up and what’s not. And yet, there is always space to grow and learn. There is always something to learn. There are always ways to continue to evolve and grow.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m taking a look at my Whole Body Pregnancy Curriculum and making adjustments and edits. I’m thinking about what I say and how I frame each section. I want to honor my promise to affirm all people who give birth. This is the work. The work is on-going.